Canada Flashback

A year and a half ago Parsnip invited me to Vancouver, both of us never thought I’d actually go but I hopped on a flight and made it. The flight was actually quicker than the time I tried to get to Cornwall by train, never again!

The Good Things:

  • The snowboarding
  • The snow
  • The free lift passes
  • Michael Bublé driving a giant cake onto the ice rink
  • A girl giving me her business card whilst in the powder
  • Telling KMF Parsnip was being too loud
  • Scaring my hockey team by saying I’d been arrested whilst they were having their team talk, time zones and all that!
  • The shop called Mr Lube
  • The sunset

Vancouver Sunset
The Not So Good Things:

  • The stupid tax system
  • Things doubling in price whilst walking to the till
  • Manners
  • Beards
  • The price of beer
  • Headbutting the piste
  • Going on a double black diamond run as it was getting dark
  • Setting off an avalanche
  • Parsnip being too noisy in the most inappropriate way (scarred for life)
  • Being threatened with a ticket from a police officer for apparently jay walking
  • Then being accused by the police officer for smoking weed despite the actual culprit walking past him, holding a joint. Idiot!

All in all successful trip.

Flashback Alert

My Nanna and Grandad had been on a cruise for 2 weeks and they are the sort of people that have to clean the house before they leave so it is all nice and tidy on their return. My family had been looking after the house and had gone in to borrow various things, anyway when they got back a bird had got into the house; smashing most of the ornaments flapping around and had shit everywhere. Welcome home Nanna!

The Adventures of Leymile

In my recent OCD spell, I have been reorganising my pictures and files on my computer. I came across many hidden gems and awful photos of the past 6 years. It has inspired me to share The Adventures of Leymile, that was co-founded nearly 6 years ago with Lip Balm Addict. Generally I could write a book on our adventures but in this blog I want to give you a synopsis of our story so far.

It began at hockey initiation, where Lip Balm Addict was my mum and I was a fish. Due to a broken ankle and being on crutches I had to consume whatever she would normally on a standard Wednesday night. This was due to her falling out of her wheelchair the week previous.
Result = alcoholism + going home with Ness and her boyfriend!

Then there was the Supreme Dyslexic one.

The Gouse was created with Parsnip and Nibs! Here Lip Balm addict learnt about: sharking and whaling, who was the chicken thief, the chronicles of the cucumber, cock in hand, shedidge, raaaave light, Graham, the Moomba sign, the sex game, psycho bitch lady and house inspections, Hey Ewe schniefing, the banana sex toy, ants, the aftermath of all day drinking, foam head protector, ginger sex, EGG BIG EGG, tequila, the vodka pear, drunken steals, Jolie, Emilism and sailor behaviour.

Then there was the time that Lip Balm Addict decided to dress as a flame, completing covering her body with red body paint. The night that she inadvertently flashed me a little too much!

We also managed to take our destruction to Italy, where Lip Balm Addict met Aids and rat baby Waller. Other highlights include secret schniefing that was revealed 6 months later, flash flooding the bedroom, mopping it up with the bed sheets and then throwing them out of the 6th floor window, touch it its so soft, the pirate spanking sword, too much foam and the flying plant pot. Here Lip Balm Addict threw a plant pot from the top floor to see “what would happen” meanwhile me on the 6th floor saw something fly past, I looked over as the hotel manager looked up thinking it was me, he literally hated me the rest of the trip always shouting DETESTE. This guy was worse than Manuel in Lloret de Mar!

Festival behaviour! We went to the wettest festival I have ever been to “Gatecrasherrrrrrrrr haaa haaaaaaaaa.” Chemical Brothers cancelled, I got attacked by a flying tent and managed to fall asleep in a rave tent (how loud?) Creamfields and Global Gathering have all have merged into one however the purchase of the sky-blue vest and then getting robbed is one of my festival highlights! At Hideout the other memorable moments were breaking Soft Hair’s sunglasses twice, tomatoes, Jack Beats, BORINGGGGG, apartment love, Rows sack of underwear and no clothes, the psycho jellyfish sting and sober raving!

There are also other events like Finnybop’s birthday and the fact we have many photos that should be on an album cover.

Oh and to conclude Lip Balm is so defined you know!

I appreciate some of this maybe absolute nonsense to many of you but if you want to know what some of the stories are in more detail I will be happy to share them with you.

Copyright © Leygan 2012