The Thursday morning feeling

Oh that Thursday morning feeling I always get after Hey Ewe; my friends will no doubt be accustomed to such a feeling. It’s a mixture of hangover, worthlessness, confusion, scrunchiness, ag and the need to withdraw from society (at least for the first few hours of the day.) I suppose it’s a similar feeling most people get when they have to go to work on a Monday.

I never used to get the Thursday morning feeling that much but that was back in the day I was able to go home with my girlfriend and avoid any unnecessary drama or at least stay in bed all day. Now I feel like unfortunately I am in the drama. I also feel the smack in the face of the aftermath of countless Jagerbombs and whatever else I thought was a good idea to consume at Hey Ewe. The feeling is ten times worse now that I have to get up and go to work.

I suppose I only have another 15 Thursday morning feelings to go until I finally leave the bubble, something I probably should have done two years ago. I wonder if I will miss them at all?

The Adventures of Leymile

In my recent OCD spell, I have been reorganising my pictures and files on my computer. I came across many hidden gems and awful photos of the past 6 years. It has inspired me to share The Adventures of Leymile, that was co-founded nearly 6 years ago with Lip Balm Addict. Generally I could write a book on our adventures but in this blog I want to give you a synopsis of our story so far.

It began at hockey initiation, where Lip Balm Addict was my mum and I was a fish. Due to a broken ankle and being on crutches I had to consume whatever she would normally on a standard Wednesday night. This was due to her falling out of her wheelchair the week previous.
Result = alcoholism + going home with Ness and her boyfriend!

Then there was the Supreme Dyslexic one.

The Gouse was created with Parsnip and Nibs! Here Lip Balm addict learnt about: sharking and whaling, who was the chicken thief, the chronicles of the cucumber, cock in hand, shedidge, raaaave light, Graham, the Moomba sign, the sex game, psycho bitch lady and house inspections, Hey Ewe schniefing, the banana sex toy, ants, the aftermath of all day drinking, foam head protector, ginger sex, EGG BIG EGG, tequila, the vodka pear, drunken steals, Jolie, Emilism and sailor behaviour.

Then there was the time that Lip Balm Addict decided to dress as a flame, completing covering her body with red body paint. The night that she inadvertently flashed me a little too much!

We also managed to take our destruction to Italy, where Lip Balm Addict met Aids and rat baby Waller. Other highlights include secret schniefing that was revealed 6 months later, flash flooding the bedroom, mopping it up with the bed sheets and then throwing them out of the 6th floor window, touch it its so soft, the pirate spanking sword, too much foam and the flying plant pot. Here Lip Balm Addict threw a plant pot from the top floor to see “what would happen” meanwhile me on the 6th floor saw something fly past, I looked over as the hotel manager looked up thinking it was me, he literally hated me the rest of the trip always shouting DETESTE. This guy was worse than Manuel in Lloret de Mar!

Festival behaviour! We went to the wettest festival I have ever been to “Gatecrasherrrrrrrrr haaa haaaaaaaaa.” Chemical Brothers cancelled, I got attacked by a flying tent and managed to fall asleep in a rave tent (how loud?) Creamfields and Global Gathering have all have merged into one however the purchase of the sky-blue vest and then getting robbed is one of my festival highlights! At Hideout the other memorable moments were breaking Soft Hair’s sunglasses twice, tomatoes, Jack Beats, BORINGGGGG, apartment love, Rows sack of underwear and no clothes, the psycho jellyfish sting and sober raving!

There are also other events like Finnybop’s birthday and the fact we have many photos that should be on an album cover.

Oh and to conclude Lip Balm is so defined you know!

I appreciate some of this maybe absolute nonsense to many of you but if you want to know what some of the stories are in more detail I will be happy to share them with you.

Copyright © Leygan 2012

Mysterious text

As it is Thursday, my favourite hangover day I am a little bit more paranoid than usual. I’m cheekily trying to switch between Twitter and Facebook whilst pretending to do work. But lets be honest me procrastinating when slightly intoxicated is best for everyone, considering I design and develop medical devices for a living!

Anyway to the point of my story; do you know when you are typing away at the computer about some sordid experience the night before and the text doesn’t actually appear where you thought you were writing it? Well this has happened several times today and I’m wondering where does the mysterious text go? I’m hoping my vivid description of last night has vanished into cyberspace otherwise it could be on one of the following things I have worked on today!

November financial accounts
Patent records
A letter sent to a hospital
An email to either the CEO or my boss
Stock records
Audit report
Saved in a random place on my computer

To make matters worse I think I have bought the wrong train tickets for my meeting in London tomorrow. I knew being banshee last night was a mistake!

Copyright © Leygan 2011.

Ways to die

Ways to die…

My lovely time silent disco friend decided to have a mass room clean saying GET OUT to the majority of her belongings. She came across the original receipt with 18 ways to die on it. These points were decided whilst hungover at a 3+1 gathering.

– Q
– Shagged to death
– Laugh your head off
– Lime to death
– Funnel
– Mash/Mashed (no cheese)
– Flapped
– Gashed
– Sudden death beer pong
– Hiccupped
– Shot
– Danced
– Poked
– Tickled
– Sloooooow moooooo
– Chicken
– Aga

P.s. could you possible Liv twice.

I would also like to add to this that after leaving the hunch location i managed to completely stack it throwing myself over a traffic bollard. Amazing hangover day.

Copyright © Leygan 2011


When a pint glass isn’t enough and only a 5 pint vase will suffice……

After recently coming up with what can be described as either a summer plan, guide to avert a mid-life crisis or birthday resolution this weekend I can safely say I broke nearly every point. The list is as follows:

1 – Be clean (No marker pen)
2 – Pluck eyebrows
3 – Self maintenance
4 – 3 meals a day of solid food
5 – Rehydrate with water
6 – No alcoholism
7 – No smoking
8 – Gym
9 – Wash clothes
10 – Dress less like a jan
11 – Get over past jans
12 – Find a nice jan
13 – Find jobs
14 – Save money
15 – Sleep 7 hours a night in your own bed
16 – Eat fruit
17 – Don’t get involved in drama
18 – No drunken Facebook / texting / phone calls / Skype
19 – No crying
20 – Moisturise / no spots
21 – Brush the lid

After my blip, I am back on track and the 2 days were totally worth it! Luckily the golf was on yesterday to offer calm viewing during my hangover!

Copyright © Leygan 2011.